On Being Lolita: Why Not Every Day?

On Being Lolita: Why Not Every Day?

Whenever someone asks me if I “dress like that” every day, I wish I could say, “♥★♥★♥YES!♥★♥★♥” (Even better if a shower of sparkles could emanate from me in a halo~)

Unfortunately, that’s not the case, no matter how many stars I implore. I used to tell myself that it’s because I can’t afford to wear lolita fashion on a daily basis–I can’t afford to buy enough garments to outfit me for more than a few days, and I can’t afford the time and cost launder them properly. I would tell myself that I’d worry too much about ruining my nicest clothes–I can’t wear it every day for practicality. I used to say that I didn’t have time to get dressed up on a daily basis–I can’t wear lolita fashion every day because it would take too long. I’d insist that wearing lolita constantly would be tiring–I can’t put forth the effort. I’d think of all these excuses and convince myself that there was something about me that meant prevented me from doing what I wanted to do.

Sometimes, you have to make a choice–do I wear what I want or do I wear what is accepted/appropriate/expected? As much as it would be fun to always wear what I want, I make many clothing decisions based on the wants of other people. My job doesn’t have a strict dress code, but all the same I can’t wear a formal lolita coordination in my style. My clients and coworkers have expectations about what is to be worn at work–and even if I could explain to them what the fashion is and what it means to me, it would add another layer of connotations and impressions of me. I want those who interact with me to remember me for my work ethic and disposition–not for being “the weird girl.”

Similarly, I don’t wear lolita to class. I’m studying at business school, hoping to enter a field that is very conservative and traditional. I certainly wouldn’t be hired if I wore lolita fashion to a job interview, and because of this I don’t wear lolita fashion to class on a regular basis. Sometimes I just can’t help myself–especially if I’m taking a class that is an elective as opposed to required for my specialization–but usually I try to dress like my classmates. My professors and any special guests that might come to the class are all potential business contacts; I want their impressions of me to be free of biases due to my clothing habits.

Some people would consider my actions to be cowardly, conformist, or weak–and for the most part, I agree. After all, it takes quite a bit of courage to be true to yourself even when outside forces are against you. However, it is hard to make and act upon a decision to restrain or unfurl yourself, regardless of the final choice. If I wore lolita fashion constantly, I know that it would close doors to different choices in my life. I make a choice to limit my self-expression to avoid limiting my opportunities, but I’d much rather have both than one or the other; I want to be a constantly complete “me.”

However, I can’t guarantee that I will want to wear lolita fashion forever. I won’t make decisions based only on that aspect if I have to endure the future consequences after things have changed. With this constantly in mind, it’s a bit confusing to maintain a balance in my life of enjoying the things I want to do and working at the things I have to do. (If only they were one and the same!)

I greatly admire those who wear lolita fashion (or any alternative fashion!) on a daily basis. Putting your frilliest foot forward isn’t simple. Some people will fawn over your expression; others will chide or exclude you. It takes a lot of courage to overcome hurdles and withstand biases that would be otherwise nonexistent if only you’d change your clothes!

Sometimes I consider revising my goals, so that I could wear lolita fashion every day. If I aimed for a different career, applied for a new job, and transferred to another school, it would remove some of the restrictions on my clothing choices. Would that really be the right thing to do? Not for me. If I must compromise, it will be on my clothing, not my future–that is how my priorities are arranged. Despite this decision, I still worry that at some point that wearing lolita fashion will have a negative impact on my career… but not enough to stop wearing it.

Almost everything in life is best when there is a balance. This is how mine is working out, at least for now. I can’t even imagine what will happen ten years from now!

Outfit Snap: Honey Chai Cherry Rose

Outfit Snap: Honey Chai Cherry Rose

Honey Chai Cupcake

I was only able to dress up one day of my weekend~ Friday involved work in our apartment that kept the door open and absolutely froze everything inside. Thankfully everything went well, so Saturday was all mine for the enjoying–and with actual working heat, no less! I had another lolita over, although she didn’t wear lolita fashion when she came over, but since I met her at a lolita meetup I think it’s a fair enough title. Lolita fashion wasn’t at all the focus of our day together–I was excited that she brought some of her dolls! ♥

I was also excited to wear a dress that I’d been wanting to wear! My little sister and I worked out a not-quite-a-sale-but-not-quite-a-swap transaction amidst the wardrobe collective, and I was thrilled to find that one of the pieces under discussion was a dress I’d been hoping for~ Despite my typical indifference to prints, I think BABY makes some lovely older prints. This dress has a gorgeous design of flowers and cherries that remind me of a painting~ Paired with the bell sleeves, rarely seen in the newer collections for the lolita fashion brands, it stole my heart. ♥

It’s a lovely dress, made of a textured, soft fabric that is extremely comfortable. I know it’s trying to wedge its way into my list of favourites–I can already tell. I coordinated it with plain white lace-topped socks (well, there is a design up the back, but it’s invisible here). I wanted to wear a more detailed pair, since I own two pairs of pink socks that have rose motifs, but I couldn’t decide if they looked alright. The ribbons in my hair were given to me by a friend–they’re from another BABY item, and they matched those on the one-piece perfectly! ♥

I hope I can keep up this trend! I’m already having so much fun; it’s nice to know everything is being put to use~

The Pink Cherry Bouquet