Meetup Report: International Lolita Day at Serenitea

Meetup Report: International Lolita Day at Serenitea

I love these instant pictures! This was from a small printer instead of an Instax.

I always feel nostalgic about International Lolita Day, but I don’t often remember to celebrate it. I love that there’s a rallying day for the fashion community, and I wish I gave it more attention when it comes around—especially since it occurs twice a year, on the first Saturday in June and the first Saturday in December. That should mean that I at least remember one of them, but sometimes it doesn’t quite work out that way!

This year a dear friend of mine reminded me about the upcoming event and invited me to afternoon tea in time… and not just any friend, the very person who initially came up with the concept for this frilly “holiday” back in 2005 and organized the first celebration with the EGL community on ye olde Livejournal! 💖

The event on this first Saturday in June was hosted at Serenitea in Oak Park. Although it isn’t located in Chicago, it was easily accessible from both the Metra commuter train and the CTA green line. (I rode the L to and from; I prefer to take public transit when it’s available.) The tea room is a very short walk and fairly easy to identify. The location is rather small, but it still has a separate room for parties, which in general I prefer for meetups.

I regrettably forgot to take any pictures… I wore a pair of new shoes that savaged the backs of my ankles and distracted me from collecting a good record, so please forgive my lack of thoroughness in this “report”.

The afternoon tea menu is available with options for vegan and gluten-free needs, which our party appreciated. The gluten-free items were served on the same plates as the items containing gluten, so guests with very strict needs may benefit from making additional requests and confirming that there is no cross-contamination. The selection of finger sandwiches, scones, and desserts seemed like pretty standard fare for a tea menu. It had a more rustic and homemade appearance and feel than hotel tea service. Each guest selected their own tea from a fairly large list of loose leaf options that were served in petite teapots. The teapots are cute, but they are extremely difficult to pour from without sloshing half of the tea all over the table; better teapots, possibly equipped with drip-catchers, would immensely improve the experience!

The seatings for our group involved small tables that sat four at each. This can make the group seem divided, but it did make conversation at the individual tables a bit easier to follow and participate in. We did an introduction round-table and milled around a bit, particular between courses and after most of the food items had been consumed. There was an attached shop room with vintage-themed tea goods that several people used as a spot for photos; it was possible to do this without bothering any other customers or guests. One attendee brought a small printer and graciously provided instant photos for everyone else! 📸 I love those cameras at meetups.

When our reservation ended we took a few pictures outside. There was brief discussion about extending our time together, but the ominous clouds overhead caused most people to vote for heading home. I managed to just barely beat the rain other than a few sprinkled droplets during the walk back to the train station! ☔

Overall, I had a lot of fun celebrating International Lolita Day this way (despite my injured ankles that are still slowly healing…), and I enjoyed getting to see several friends that I hadn’t spoken to in a few months as well as meeting some others for the first time! Perhaps I’ll remember to see what’s planned for December… ❄️

Sweet Treats: TWG Tea Leicester Square

Sweet Treats: TWG Tea Leicester Square

A cup of Darjeeling from TWG Tea! I couldn’t resist tasting another cup from 2019 first flush.

On our last day in London, after visiting a flurry of museums and marching through lovely parks, the clouds started to gather. Hilariously, we’d enjoyed beautiful balmy sunshine during the trip, even though we’d left after days of chilly rain in Chicago. With our checklist of “places to see” almost entirely checked and our other checklist of “souvenirs to gather” taken care of, we didn’t have much in mind—except sitting down for afternoon tea.

I 💗love💗 afternoon tea. (It’s the lolita fashion meetup type most likely to lure me out of my cozy little hermit hole.) I’ll happily sit down to drink a cup of tea and savor a dessert in almost any café, but a full afternoon tea service gently thaws my frozen little heart. (And I get cranky about the misused term “high tea”!) Looking at savories and sweets that seem almost like edible dollhouse food always entertains me. I appreciate standard fare, such as currant scones or cucumber sandwiches, and I’ll happily try something new and inventive if the chef exhibits creativity! Given the tea culture in the UK, it seemed somewhat like a waste to leave without having a full tea service. As it was just my husband and I together on our last day, logistically this became a bit easier than trying to get a last-minute reservation for a larger group.

The incoming rain seemed like the perfect signal to get indoors to a tea house. We also substituted this as our “evening” meal (despite the fact that it was still afternoon) so that we avoided overwhelming our budget.

We selected TWG Tea for a few reasons: we within a 10-minute walk of the location, we’ve been given their teas as a gift and enjoyed them, and trying to have afternoon tea without a reservation at a hotel is rather difficult. I adore afternoon tea hosted in a hotel, as they often have more luxurious ambiance than a restaurant, but when checked with a few that would have been close by they were understandably unable to accommodate us. TWG is a relatively newer tea company (founded in 2008) and based in Singapore, so it wasn’t a particularly British-themed excursion, but that wasn’t really high on my priorities at the time. If we find ourselves in London again, I plan to make an actual reservation in advance at a place or two after some reading and research.

We decided to stop in and enjoy tea at TWG rather than wander in the rain!

Luckily, we did not have to wait when we entered the tea room at TWG; they were able to seat us immediately. I believe that we were given two set menu options that were very similar: a “Paris” afternoon tea that came with a pot of tea, finger sandwiches, two miniature croque monsieur with tea-infused béchamel, and desserts, and a “London” afternoon tea that included two scones instead of the croque monsieur miniatures. (I feel like I may be misremembering some element of this, because I didn’t snap a picture of the menu and I can’t seem to find a copy to reference.) My husband selected a smoky black tea and I, once again, ordered Darjeeling (Castleton estate). He ordered the set with croque monsieur, and I ordered the set with scones. (I’ve actually been on a bit of a scone-kick since our trip, but perhaps I should save that for another day.)

A variety of delicious finger sandwiches accompanying the tea set!
My husband’s tea came with tiny croque monsieur sandwiches, but I did not want to pass up on scones!
Delightful desserts from the set menu for tea!

Both sets came with the same finger sandwiches and desserts, an assortment of chicken salad, smoked salmon, cucumber, and egg salad. Nothing particularly unique, but everything tasted well and appeared to be freshly made. I didn’t catch a picture of my husband’s two tiny croque monsieur, but I tried a bite of each and quite enjoyed them! I’ve been thinking about making something inspired by them at home. The scones were fluffy, one herbed and more savory and one with dried fruit on the sweeter side. The tiny desserts included a variety of flavours and textures. I really enjoyed how neatly-formed they all were, without anything out of place.

The teas themselves tasted wonderful. 💖 I appreciated trying another Darjeeling, and my husband found his tea enjoyable.

One of the things I particularly liked was that the shop left a “book of teas” on the tables during your time in the dining area. It arrived with the menu, as it came with small paragraphs describing each tea, so in a way it supplemented the tea menu. However, they did not collect it with the menus, so I read through it while we enjoyed our afternoon tea time and used this information to plan for my selections in the shop below. I was able to read the notes in the book and make a short list for the downstairs shop of tea that I wanted to smell. This made our shopping very efficient! I picked up the Earl Grey Gentleman for a friend who prefers very robust Earl Grey and some Oud Night for myself, curious about the perfumed aroma.

Also, stopping for tea at TWG and having another cup of Darjeeling cemented my resolve to go back to Mariage Frères and purchase the Darjeeling I had initially decided I could live without. All in all, it was a lovely way to wait out the rain, enjoy a delightful meal, and immerse myself once again in tea! 🎀

Outfit Snap: Instagram Migration

Outfit Snap: Instagram Migration

It’s probably been obvious if only because I haven’t posted anything under “Outfit Snap” in years, but I consider this category of post officially retired. ♥

With the way things have changed, both in terms of the English-speaking lolita fashion online communities, blogging, and my own personal clothing habits, it seems like a good time for this category to be laid to rest. When I started writing here, pictures of people’s individual coordinates were slightly less easy to come by than they are now. I didn’t wear lolita fashion as frequently then as I do today.

I’ll still be sharing pictures of my outfits exactly the way I have been doing for a few years—on Instagram!

Perhaps if there’s a particular event or outfit I might someday resurrect this type of post to highlight it, but until that mysterious set of circumstances arranges itself, outfit pictures will continue on Instagram rather than individual posts. 📷

Sweet Treats: Twinings London

Sweet Treats: Twinings London

Until we found ourselves in London, I didn’t think terribly often about Twinings. I don’t dislike their teas, but in the United States they’re primarily a grocery store brand of tea bags, which I don’t tend to purchase often. However, that certainly didn’t mean I wanted to pass up a chance to visit their shop. I only realized after the fact that I’d been to their flagship shop, which has been open for over 300 years! (I initially described the shop as “Dickensian” to my parents, although actually that’s about a hundred years late.) You can see more about their flagship store on their website!

The Twinings flagship shop on London’s Strand, starring my amazing travel outfit~

The shop itself is very deep and narrow, with tea and other treats in tidy shelves on either side. They had a few “London Edition” boxes near the front and a variety of shortbread and other biscuits in old-fashioned tins. I picked up a few as gifts (teas and biscuits), and they were very well-received! Considering the generally reasonable prices and the many “buy [number] get [discount]” offers in the shop, it felt quite convenient and successful. The salespeople were very helpful when we had a few questions, showcasing that they were both knowledgeable and polite.

Near the back of the shop is a tea bar with samples of tea brewing in front of a wall of tea canisters. We tasted a variety of teas and enjoyed chatting with the friendly associate manning that station. Twinings teaches “tea masterclasses” in that area, which sounds interesting but wasn’t something we had time for. As I mentioned when talking about Mariage Frères, Twinings promoted their own Darjeeling first flush from 2019 (Chamong estate). (They had the 2018 and and 2019 shelved near each other, and my husband and I spent some time smelling the samples and discussing which one we preferred.)

Teacup featuring Thomas Twining, displayed in the Twinings Museum!

The part I most enjoyed was the “tea museum” at the back of the shop. A few glass cases housed an assortment of historical tea-related memorabilia. I took several photos, which I’ll share below, although I apologize for the poor quality. My excuse will have to be that it was our first day and we’d immediately begun our excursions after getting out of the airport without any kind of break. Glass cases are always tricky, honestly, due to the reflections. I tried to get a few angles that were less obvious, but most of these would not win any photo awards.

An assortment of Earl Grey tins from throughout the years!
Assorted tea boxes from different eras!
A page related to tea and its revenue-generating notes, including taxation!
Some additional books and china on display!
One of the final cases in the tea museum area!

I’m glad we decided to stop in and see the shop! It’s not exactly a tea house anymore, in terms of being able to actually drink tea there other than samples or take-away, unless they had a magical secret tea room area that I completely missed. It was still a lot of fun, and I enjoyed viewing the items in the museum area. It’s fun to see how tea tins have changed and stayed the same.

Sweet Treats: Mariage Frères Covent Garden

Sweet Treats: Mariage Frères Covent Garden

Madeleines and other desserts with tea at Mariage Frères ♥

I adore tea (some things never change!), and I always look forward to opportunities to try new varieties—particularly in lovely settings! Several years ago I was fortunate enough to be in Paris, and I convinced some family members to take a trip to Mariage Frères. I can’t quite recall where I heard of this company… possibly from a friend in Japan, as there are several tea salons from the brothers Mariage throughout the country. Our experience in the Paris tea salon remains a fond memory, so when I realized we’d be taking a trip to London I wanted to see if there was a Mariage Frères location even though it’s a French tea company rather than a British one.

I was lucky to travel with several extremely indulgent people who enjoy desserts, so not only did we visit—we returned! The tea emporium in Covent Garden deserves its name: it’s a large and well-appointed shop with a few museum-like areas and a restaurant. I believe it’s quite new; a few articles I read implied that it opened in 2019. (This article has some beautiful pictures of the emporium!) The tea shop sections on the first floor have an elegant dark-wood apothecary feel while the upstairs restaurant is crisp white with a somewhat tropical impression. A large skylight and tall front windows flood the emporium with natural light. I felt quite thankful that the hours are generous (10am to 10pm while we were there), as it enabled me to dart back for one last purchase before we headed home.

A small cherry blossom-themed cake that was unexpectedly blue!

Although they do offer a full tea service, both times we opted for pots of tea and a few desserts. The desserts varied each time, and our selections (a small citrus cake and a cherry blossom-themed cream dome) tasted marvelous and looked beautiful. A set of two tea-infused madeleines, a staple item on their menu, were so well-received that we ordered an additional set the second time. The tea infusions included Earl Grey—golden brown and so aromatic, the rich emerald tones and grassy notes of matcha, and bright pink floral fruitiness from a tea called “Happy”.

The teas themselves stood out as highlights. I could not have felt luckier to be in London for the sale of 2019 first flush Darjeeling—it’s probably my favourite varietal of tea, and all the shops were selling their new harvest! Mariage Frères offers Darjeeling from several different estates from the region. I loved being able to select from so many options and compare the tastes. (In the end, I brought home some from Monteviot… and considering that I can’t find it on the website, I’m particularly glad that I went back for it!) I wish I could have tasted them all; the Castleton, Monteviot, and Namring King Upper were all absolutely lovely. 🍃

Mariage Frères Covent Garden
Earl Grey and Happy madeleines with a cup of Castleton noveau 2019 Darjeeling ♥

Although I’ve enjoyed Darjeeling for many years, I didn’t really know as much about it until I started reading a few articles in my 2019 first flush excitement! I wasn’t aware that it’s a particular plant as well as from a specific region—Camellia sinensis var. sinensis instead of Camellia sinensis var. assamica (called “Assam”). It has smaller leaves and is harvested by hand. It’s grown at a higher elevation than most teas. It’s also subject to a significant amount of fraud: 40k tons are sold per year and 11k tons are produced per year. (I’m reminded of counterfeit concerns regarding olive oil and balsamic vinegar…) I feel even more appreciation for this tea now that I’ve done a smidge of reading about it! I plan to continue learning more.

I wish there was a Mariage Frères tea salon closer to my home… I’d love to be able to take a book there, order a pot of tea, and read. The setting, service, and quality of tea (and sweets!) definitely impresses me. Maybe someday the United States will get a location, but until then I’ll have to keep an eye out when I’m traveling!

Tea, tea, and more tea from my adventures in London!

At least I can now brew a few cups at home in my own tiny Mariage Frères tea pot! It was a gift, and one I am enjoying quite a bit more than I expected! It serves just under four teacups worth of tea and has a usefully wide opening at the top, as well as a generously-sized metal steeping basket. I’ve owned other petite tea pots that are more a of a nuisance to clean than they are worth or which don’t have enough brewing space for the leaves to open. The silver tea scoop is extremely pretty, as well, and I no longer feel anxious about using it since I learned how to properly polish my silverplate!

Of course, we didn’t stop only at Mariage Frères—I plan to share a few thoughts about the Twinings and TWG shops as well. 💕 Please look forward to it! ☕

On Being Lolita: Traveling Light

On Being Lolita: Traveling Light

(This post was originally begun in mid-2016… I’ve been meaning to post it all this time! Yikes!)

In early May of 2016, I was lucky enough to do something I have dreamed about for a long time: visit Japan! 💖 There were many things I wanted to do and see, but something that always remained in the forefront of my mind was my strong interest in lolita fashion. Shopping in Tokyo seemed like an obvious and essential part of the trip. Considering my travel companions and our shared interests, perusing clothing and accessories was assured.

Another important question became “what should I wear?” There are some for whom the answer “lolita fashion of course!” is an immediate response. Not so for me.

When I travel, I typically pack the minimum possible, always trying to fit my things into a smaller and smaller bag. I don’t enjoy dragging a heavy suitcase behind me or worrying where it’s going to fit. I rarely check luggage when flying, preferring to carry on what I must have. I feel secure enough without planning for every possible need, and I don’t mind improvising if plans change. I typically bring clothing that folds up to a small packet and doesn’t require ironing. (I’m also not a fan of space bags or packing cubes, although I know there are travelers who swear by them.) For these reasons, I rarely wear lolita when traveling.

Japan, however… to not wear the fashion I love so much in the place it originated… that seemed like a poor choice. So I set about to reconcile two somewhat-opposing desires: wear lolita fashion and bring minimal luggage.

Planning, Planning, and More Planning

jumperskirt, blouses, skirt, one-piece, and shoes selected for travel

I considered my goals for the trip. I knew that I’d be bringing things home with me, as I aimed to purchase clothing and other items, so it was important that I have enough room in my suitcases. Also essential: avoid airline overage charges related to baggage size, weight, and quantity. To do so, I needed to determine what must be packed versus what could be purchased at our destination.

The suitcases were my first step, mostly because my selection depended on what I already owned: a carry-on, a backpack, and a collapsible duffel bag. The collapsible duffel bag was purchased years ago to take to a doll-related event, and it has come in handy several times since. It fits nicely in the bottom of my suitcase, folded up into a pouch about as big as a folded pair of jeans, but when expanded it is large and durable, without running afoul of airline luggage policies. The duffel allowed plenty of space to bring souvenirs/etc. home.

That meant that the rest of my things needed to fit in the suitcase and backpack. Our trip involved 10 full days at our destination, not including the in-air travel time for our flights. Even though I hoped to buy frilly clothes in Tokyo that I could wear immediately, I planned for 10 days of outfits based solely on what I brought with me. I was very lucky to have access to laundry facilities during the trip; that made it much easier. (I’m not a big fan of washing things in a hotel sink; etc. My garments never seem to dry in time or launder well that way.) In fact, the neighborhood laundromat became a staple of Japan that we took full advantage of on this trip and the next!

As I wasn’t sure of the weather, I selected a jumperskirt, a short-sleeved one-piece, a skirt, a long-sleeved blouse, a blouse with detachable sleeves, and a bolero to coordinate during the trip. I packed a pair of pink lolita flats and a pair of low-heeled ankle boots, as I knew we’d be doing a lot of walking. Although some people recommend wearing one’s petticoat on the plane to save space in luggage, I packed mine in the zippered mesh pocket located on the lid of the suitcase. It compacted just fine! On the plane I wore a comfortable non-lolita dress that I thought would be easy to sleep in.

In Practice and Thoughts for Next Time

Lolita Packing - Ready for Purchases

(I didn’t know it at the time I started writing this article, but I went back the next year and was able to test some of my “planned improvements”, and they worked! I’ve done the same since then.)

The carry-on suitcase and backpack have been my traveling companions for years, and they worked just as well on this trip. I think what really mattered in this case was that I was familiar with them; I know their dimensions, pockets, and the right angle to roll the suitcase! (That’s what always trips me up when I help pull someone else’s wheeled suitcase!) We absolutely used the duffel, which we didn’t have any issues checking. An exciting bonus was that it was long enough to fit umbrellas! There was plenty of rain and some of the umbrellas/parasols we bought were too cute to abandon unless we had to. They survived the return flight just fine because they’d been cushioned with clothing.

slightly underestimated just how much clothing I’d be buying… and when reviewing, decided I would have been better off if I’d packed fewer items initially. (I never even wore the long-sleeved blouse or the skirt… I should have been more honest with myself about the coordinates I prefer to wear when given an option.) This varies for everyone, but I found plenty of new-to-me things to purchase, especially at secondhand shops. On our next trip, I packed fewer lolita clothing items (a blouse, jumperskirt, cardigan, and one-piece) and made stopping at Closet Child a priority upon arrival. I also didn’t pack accessories (hair accessories or jewelry) on the subsequent trip; I bought things when I found them and didn’t worry too much if I’d have worn something differently had I been at home. We were so busy with activities—museums, excursions to cultural sites, and meeting friends—that I found I was too occupied to fret over a bracelet or bow. I certainly restocked during the days we were there!

On a separate trip that also involved lolita fashion, we traveled somewhere with fewer laundry options and no clothes shopping, I packed an additional jumperskirt, two cardigans, and two short-sleeved cutsews. I did not bring a skirt, bolero, or a long-sleeved blouse. Having two jumperskirts, a one-piece, a blouse with detachable sleeves, two short-sleeved cutsews, two cardigans gave me plenty of options for a trip slightly under a week. I was able to do some spot-cleaning,  airing, and ironing to keep my clothes from looking or feeling “dirty”, but this might not be possible for everyone depending on the climate. If it’s too hot, too cold, or too dusty/gritty, it may not be possible to wear a limited wardrobe comfortably. That’s one of the reasons I don’t wear lolita every time I travel; I value a smaller suitcase over a full selection of clothes.

I realized that I needed to pack my camera in a slightly more easy-to-access part of my backpack, even though it’s very snug at the bottom. Some airports require that larger cameras are removed entirely from the case during security.

We got a lot of use out of laundromats and looked forward to them for the next trip. Even if we stayed somewhere with a washing machine, if the laundromat had a drier it was often beneficial to take the wet clothes over for a tumble if they could stand it. Sometimes there was too much humidity for air-drying to be prompt. When the temperature soared and threatened to roast us, having freshly-washed clothes felt like a luxury!

Lolita Packing - In the Suitcase

I didn’t follow a particular packing procedure (such as cubes, rolling, unique folding styles, etc.) for the suitcase… I tend to visualize the upright suitcase and aim for weight-distribution when it’s being rolled. I like to have shoes and heavier items near the “spine” of the handle and down by the wheels. I tuck grooming items (hairbrushes, etc.) along the sides and fill in spaces between shoes with small clothing items, with the goal of creating a flat layer that I can stack folded garments on top of. I use my suitcase’s built-in straps to help corral garments and winch a taller pile down to a shorter height, and I have more success with this if the item on top is roughly the size of the suitcase opening; I think of it like a tarp on a flat-bed truck! It worked just as well with lolita clothing as it does with anything else, and I was happy to find I didn’t unpack the most wrinkly stack of clothing in the universe.

With the ubiquity of 100-yen shops and convenience stores, as well as the novelty of 💕being in Japan with all the fun sparkly things💕, on our next trip I packed very few toiletries and consumable items. We purchased what we needed, and either left things behind or brought them home as “souvenirs”. When we purchased laundry detergent, we left what remained in the apartment for the next occupant or the property owner. When we needed first aid items, we brought the extra bandages and dressings home in the duffel bag. Buying cosmetics felt particularly thrilling despite the risk that they might not play nice with my skin; some of the packaging is so pretty that I couldn’t resist! ✨ Doing this wouldn’t necessarily be enjoyable or useful to everyone, but it made things easier for us.

A Note or Two in Closing

My traveling method won’t work for everyone. I’m related to a few people who can’t imagine not checking a large suitcase both ways and some others who can’t relax if they don’t have layers that accommodate all possible weather at their destination. I received peace of mind because I didn’t have to worry about how to physically carry my luggage (even the duffel is not so huge that my husband and I can’t maneuver it on trains or buses) and whether I’d be charged extra fees. We stayed in populated areas of Japan that made it possible to buy toiletries without spending a fortune and use laundromats.

I was, however, happy to find that it was possible to pack and wear lolita (including bringing clothing home) without requiring huge bags and strategy-related devices like packing cubes. It made me feel more confident about packing the clothes I enjoy wearing, and I’ve taken a few initiatives to wear them on other trips! ✈️

I’ve shared my thoughts here in the hopes that someone else may find it useful! Bon voyage! 🗼

On Being Lolita: “She Left Lolita”

On Being Lolita: “She Left Lolita”

Sometimes I get asked “Oh, how long have you been in the fashion?” and it takes me a minute or two to sort through things and remember when I began participating. (This is generally something I have a bit of a rough time with… length of time between dates… 😅 My poor siblings and husband are pretty used to this from me.) It’s interesting to look back on the years and see how much has changed; things were very different for the fashion in the mid-2000s. I try not to get too hung up on the “way things used to be”, but sometimes it’s hard to fully embrace the future when you have to let go of the past.

Especially when it means saying goodbye to others.

As someone who still wears this fashion (in fact, early 2010s me would be ⚡shocked⚡ that I now have enough frilly clothing and a lifestyle that would allow me to be a “daily lolita” if I were slightly less lazy), one of the things I regularly reminisce about are the people I’ve known. For me, the community has always been a significant part of the fashion—even though I am, admittedly, not always the most involved community member. The clothing itself defines my interest, but the friends I’ve made are more valuable to me than even my dear usakumya rucksack. 💖

I sometimes wonder whether I was lucky—if I a variety of factors I cannot control primarily contributed to the friendships that I’ve made, some of which have lasted over a decade. I consider if this scenario is typical, or perhaps an anomaly… and I believe that it’s both inevitable and beneficial, but not guaranteed. After all, despite the friends I still regularly interact with, there are others that I’m no longer in contact with due to changes in their lives or mine.

When someone chooses to “leave lolita” (no longer wearing the clothes or participating in fashion communities), it is not uncommon for friendships with other lolita to end as well, unless a few other factors were involved. It’s inevitable that people change and unrealistic to expect that shared hobbies and interests will remain static. This impacts any relationship: I have to acknowledge what exactly the other person and I enjoyed about each other’s company and whether our interactions were deliberate or convenient.

Sometimes you hear people speak of “lolita friends”; when this means “people I enjoy the company of, who share an interest in lolita fashion, and who I see primarily at fashion-related meetups” it is highly likely that if either party “leaves lolita”, the friendship will end. Often these relationships are built on convenient interactions—commenting back and forth in a group, chit-chatting during a tea party, attending or presenting a panel at a convention, etc. If the other person no longer participates in the lolita fashion interest and is not present for these types of interactions, the relationship slowly fades. If the bulk of conversation centered around fashion-related news, preferences, stories, etc. that well will run dry and silence settles in its place.

That said, if a friendship initiated by a shared hobby (such as fashion) has become something with a variety of enjoyable focuses (personality characteristics, shared interests, differing point of view, etc.) and interactions are deliberately initiated (inviting someone over, making plans to see a movie or attend an event, etc.), even if one hobby is no longer shared, there’s still enough substance to maintain the friendship. When I find that there’s someone I enjoyed conversation with at a tea party or picnic, it helps to reach out to spend time together and see what else we might have in common. (Honestly, this is just what I try to do, in general! Sometimes it’s so strange being an “adult” without school and other hobbies to make getting to know new people happen without much planning. It takes effort and sometimes it doesn’t work out, but it gets easier the more I try. 💗)

It’s not always possible (or advisable) to maintain a relationship with someone else—people’s lives and priorities change, on all sides. When I think on former friends that I don’t see anymore, I at least try to appreciate the positive memories. I’ve found more value in building new supportive connections than insisting on regaining something that existed in the past.

(Note: I started writing this in 2016… but it’s been something on my mind for a while, given all that’s changed in within the fashion itself and communities for it. Seems like no matter where you look, there’s always change… some of it’s good, some of it’s bad, but it’s going to keep on happening.)

Reading Corner: So Pretty / Very Rotten

Reading Corner: So Pretty / Very Rotten

I could not pass up the opportunity to read this book of lolita fashion-centric comics and essays when I learned that my public library had a copy! ♥ So Pretty / Very Rotten by Jane Mai and An Nguyen was published by Koyama Press in May 2017, so at the time I was able to read it the book was still quite recent!

I’m not sure exactly what I expected when I picked this up. I didn’t do much research on it prior to placing my hold with the library. I knew based on the description of the book that it would contain both essays and artwork. That was really it.

So Pretty / Very Rotten by Jane Mai and An Nguyen
So Pretty / Very Rotten by Jane Mai and An Nguyen

The book is arranged with comics drawn and written by both parties, supplemented with essays. The essays are based on research performed as part of An Nguyen’s thesis project. The comics are independent stories rather than illustrations of the research, although clearly the various interviews performed and other information gathered throughout the research period played a role in the comics as well.

Read more

Update: Just Alice, Still Alice

Update: Just Alice, Still Alice

This poor, poor neglected blog.

Alice at the Kanji Museum

This face is a pretty good representation of what I’ve been doing in all the months I haven’t written here: thinking about what to write here. It’s not that I haven’t had content to write about—I still wear lolita fashion (more than ever, actually!) and still flail around in ballet class and still spend too much time musing over my thoughts and the various desserts I’ve set my sights on. (My Instagram account shows a pretty good representation of all the silly goings-on in my life!) I’ve gone on some trips that would be fun to talk about it. I’ve bought clothing and drank tea and basically kept on keepin’ on.

But I think what’ve been interfering have been some internal questions from me about blogging as a whole, as an industry.

And I think the answer is that it doesn’t really matter to me what blogging as an industry is doing. I miss writing and sharing, and as much as I adore Instagram and social media, it simply doesn’t allow for the long-winded descriptions I enjoy so much.

Because really, that’s just what I like. ♥ And that’s the whole purpose of maintaining this thing!

Ruffle Review: Q-Pot x Sailor Moon Jewelry

Ruffle Review: Q-Pot x Sailor Moon Jewelry

Q-Pot Arrival

Q-Pot is a company that I’ve known of for a long time, but I did not purchase any of their jewelry until I saw it at their Harajuku flagship store. When they released preview images for their summer 2016 collaboration with Sailor Moon, I was immediately smitten. I absolutely adore Sailor Moon, and now that I had seen and held Q-Pot’s jewelry I felt less hesitant about their prices.

I tracked the preorder dates, dutifully setting an alarm on my phone and registering for the Japanese warehouse website, ready to order. I expected delivery in October or November, per the terms of the preorder. It was a very pleasant surprise to receive an email in July stating that my order would soon be ready for shipping~! ♥

Unfortunately, from that point things became… less pleasant. Read more