With much guiltiness I return to posting here; if I had a tail it would be between my legs like a scolded puppy, despite the fact that I haven’t actually been scolded. I’ve been really terrible about maintaining any kind of schedule of posts this year, despite the fact that I really like writing here. I was posting less frequently because my program was coming to a close, and I needed to focus on my schoolwork before May. When that term came to a close, though, I wasn’t particularly busy with anything, but I didn’t start posting again even though I thought about it a few times.
The truth is that I’ve been somewhat confused about how my relationship to lolita fashion may change; in some ways I’m concerned that I’m getting “too old” for it, although I’d prefer there to be no upper limit on age. I’ve been trying to focus on how it may have an impact on my career. Additionally, I’ve just been somewhat unlucky when it comes to the interactions of random strangers, to the point where I’ve been questioning whether I really want to wear that frilly dress or if it would be easier to just blend in.
I’d like to think that I have more self-confidence than that, but it’s hard to always be so visible. Although wearing lolita fashion gets easier with experience and frequency, there are still moments when you get reminded how difficult it can be to stand out. Rude or threatening comments are inexcusable regardless of what you are wearing, but if you know that you caught someone’s attention because of how you are dressed, you can start to think that if you looked “normal” it wouldn’t have happened.
I haven’t loved lolita fashion any less. It’s still my number one interest, something I hope I can always be a part of, and an important part of my life. I haven’t stopped going to meetups or seeing my friends, but I will admit that I’ve likely gone to fewer of them. I still have worn my favourite clothes…but not as frequently as before. I follow the communities that I’ve always followed, but I haven’t commented very much. I’ve been worried that, for a myriad of reasons, I should be less of a lolita.
Due to that, I’ve been putting off updating, which really wasn’t much of a solution. It certainly didn’t make me feel any better, and it absolutely wasn’t something that I wanted to do. I don’t want to wear lolita any less or have lolita relegated to a lesser position in my life.
So I’m not going to. ♥
I’m back, and I’ll try not to disappear again~ ♥