On Being Lolita: “I Do”–Do You?

On Being Lolita: “I Do”–Do You?

In the Court Room
As all of our pictures are very informal, I’m always caught in some kind of awkward pose.

With my bridal shower just around the corner (Which, for the record, I am really nervous about attending! So many relatives that I haven’t seen in years…), I’ve been thinking about my wedding. I eloped at the end of January, the intention and date kept a secret from everyone except my husband and best friend, and although there was no formal ceremony, I wore lolita fashion. Wearing lolita to my wedding was very important to me. The fashion has played a significant role in my life–most importantly, it has had a very positive effect on my well-being. When I’m in my lolita finery, I feel very happy to be myself–that was the mindset I wanted for a day as significant as my wedding day.

I am not really of the opinion that a wedding day is the “happiest” day of a girl’s life. I’d like to think that every tomorrow has the potential to be a “happiest” day–I aspire to live with increasing values on the happiness meter! However, marriage is a very meaningful step in one’s life. I am thankful every day for the man I can now call my husband, who loves and supports me in any situation. He has never opposed my hobbies or said hurtful things about my interests. With such a wonderful person by my side, I know that every day has unlimited potential!

Wedding Waiting Room
Completely excited and intensely happy! ♥

If I had had a formal wedding, with guests and a schedule, wearing lolita fashion would not have been an option. My family would have protested every step of the way, regardless of who should be making the choice. Additionally, there was no way I could afford even a small wedding. Instead, we opted to secretly elope. Our families were horrified to hear that my husband wore jeans and a Slayer t-shirt–but that is exactly who he is, and if I can pick my frilly attire he should have equally free choice.

Wearing lolita fashion to one’s wedding is a personal choice that rests heavily on how much you identify with the fashion. Some girls are madly in love with the style, only to move on in a few years to something else. In a case like that, one might not want to look back on wedding photos in your frilly finest–a traditional wedding dress that is suited to your tastes might be a better choice. I knew I wouldn’t have any formal photographs and my interest in lolita fashion is very stable, so I wanted to wear something I would enjoy immensely.

With the Judge
When I look back on this, I almost wish my husband had thrown the horns or removed his jacket, but he didn’t want to chance offending anyone.

When my family saw some of the snapshots that were taken during our ceremony, even those who wished very much that I had a “real” wedding and worn a “real” dress sighed and said, “You know… it really looks like you. It’s absolutely you.” And that, of course, was the point! I didn’t want something poised and formal–I wanted us to be us, comfortable about being ourselves.

Although lolita dresses usually look very formal and frilly regardless of the season, once in a while a dress is released that has an even more elaborate design. These dresses are rarely printed, and usually involve lots of lace. When I made up my mind about what I intended to wear, I kept a close eye on the blogs, waiting for the next wave of wedding-esque dresses to be released. Angelic Pretty was the company to step up. BABY the Stars Shine Bright and Metamorphose had not-too-distantly released dresses they actually intended as wedding dresses, neither of which suited my fancy and both of which were very much out of my price range. When I saw the series my dress was a part of, I knew it was perfect for me!

If I hadn’t planned on getting married, I doubt I’d have had a good reason to own such a fancy dress. I probably would have just pined for it and resolved myself to less elaborate pieces in my wardrobe. I’d love to coordinate this again.

I still hope that someday I’ll have the opportunity to take more formal pictures of the two of us in the outfits we wore on our wedding day. It was very, very cold that day (being at the end of January in such a windy and snowy city) so we weren’t brave enough to try and get any pictures out of the courthouse. The mere thought of taking off my coat was unthinkable, especially in something without sleeves! Now that the weather is nicer and everything is starting to bloom, I dream of getting some nice pictures of us together in our wedding finery. ♥

Does anyone else plan to wear lolita fashion on their wedding day, or have you done it already? Or are you dreaming of a traditional dress–or something completely non-traditional but entirely perfect for you? I’d love to see an entire lolita-themed formal wedding, especially if it was tasteful and elegant, but that’s a dream faaaar too rich for my pocketbook, so I didn’t do more than briefly entertain the thought.

Outfit Snap: Ring the Wedding Bells

Outfit Snap: Ring the Wedding Bells

Fancy Stairs

I really wanted to write about my wedding, as I was just married on Friday and I wore lolita, but unfortunately I can’t seem to get my thoughts in order~ It seems like as soon as I got back from my extremely short honeymoon (in which I took one day off of work) everything was ready to trample me! Between work and classes, I’ve been so exhausted that when I get home I just want to flop around like a lazy lazybones. I’m also preparing to speak about lolita fashion at the University of Chicago’s UChiCon this Saturday, January 30, 2010!

My wedding wasn’t an elaborate and fancy affair, but I wanted to dress as though it was one! I didn’t make the decision to wear lolita fashion lightly. I only plan on getting married once; I don’t plan on a “do over!” I didn’t want to look back on the pictures, which wouldn’t be professional anyway, and wish I had worn something else! Lolita fashion as been a passion of mine during times of so much happiness, so it means a lot to me. I put a lot of effort into picking the dress I would wear–I wanted it to be ~~special~~, not something that seemed like a normal part of my lolita wardrobe.

When I first saw Angelic Pretty‘s “Lacy Ballerina” jumperskirt in a shop blog post in April 2009, I fell in love! ♥ It was white and frothy, with lace, satin, AND pearls! The design strongly appealed to me–it seemed to draw elements from both a wedding dress and fancy lingerie~ However, it couldn’t have been released at a worse time–I had neither money nor quick means to acquire any, having just sold any “spare” possessions to pay university costs. When I told my person, he surprised me by revealing that he had been saving up for just such an occasion…and soon it was mine! Once it arrived, I hid it in the back of my closet; it was not for wearing on a regular basis.

After that, I slowly started accumulating more items to coordinate with that dress. A beautiful lacy choker with pearl strands and a golden heart pendant~ Then a pair of shoes–something slightly more mature than the bow-topped flats I usually wear with my outfits, although still with a lolita design. Everything built up gradually, whenever I had a bit of spending money and saw something suitable. When we finalized our plans, I didn’t have much time to get things together! I was lucky enough to find gloves at a local store, and I made the hairbow the night before our ceremony.

Pretty Dress, Silly Face

The hairbow was one of my favourite parts! I didn’t want a “head-eating” type of bow, but I needed something I could wear with my intended hairstyle of a high, curled ponytail. I don’t personally care for tiaras, although I’m sure one would look very nice with such a style of dress–it definitely would add a princessy touch! I tried to find a suitable bow, but without having the time to order something online I was at a disadvantage. I thought I could just make one myself, but I found out the night before that mysteriously most of my ribbons are gone! (I formerly had a LOT of ribbons…)

So I spent the evening on the floor, surrounded by various trims, trying to decide what to do. Luckily, I discovered another type of ribbon was made of a very wide white ribbon, so I carefully unstitched it…then ironed the ribbon in my hair straightener. XD Once I formed the bow, I stitched on some pearls–to mimic the style of the waist-bow of the jumperskirt. Then I stitched the bow to a hairclip and anchored it with hot glue; I didn’t want to take any chances. I’m not a very “crafty” person, but I rose to the challenge!

Looking back, I’m very satisfied with my choices! ♥ But of course, I’m happiest to be married to the most wonderful person ever!!!